NonChalant

Recently not in a v good shape as i had flu and bad cough
Flu's gone (i hope) but cough is still here.
4 days and ccounting.... ><

anyway, last Sat was somehow got by, i dont know why
can say i was a little pissed when my suggestions were initially rejected
somehow felt that what i say was of no mention to anyone
always like that one... nobody is prepared for anything.
no backup plan. dun want sumthing but dun wanna contribute idea
its been like this all the time. just like biao said, go wif the flow..

My mindset is changing, and i do knwo it.
im usually the pioneer in the grp to experience sumthing.
ok maybe its cuz im in to NS first.... so ORD first
this made me "wake up" much earlier.
others are still sleeping. simply said.
and if its one thing ive learnt,
i've learnt not to be too concerned for others.
it backfires, at times, and badly

i like to observe humans and their behaviour.
in a way it enables me to understand human nature better
and usually the reactions are very much anticipated and correct
sumtimes harsh fact can be very disappointing
but i've learnt to look at it in a lighter perspective

its very disappointing to know when ur close frens,
or so called, close, may actually have a bad impression of u
(of cuz i dun mean myself la.... but someone )
say for another person... X may think one have been opinionated on him/her
but the harsh reality is that other close frens have also "commented" about X
and worse still it is remarks that are "fiercer"
one that will draw replies of "wah u very bad leh, say till like that"
and all this is thru the simple casual talks of peoples life
of course, unknown to the person - X
(i do hope i wun kena such thing. it sux. je' prefere neutral~)

i still have cough, so today went to buy herbal tea
very "Uncle" hor? lolx no choice. i wanna get fit soon
anyway at the medicinal hall i saw this thingy - "rest well"
its sumthing like an anti snoring thing...
erm... sumthing like Biore Pore Pack lol...
put at the nose while u slp and over time can clr blk nose.

of cuz i dun mean i snore la.. ><
but i thot of someone who slp and can snore as soon.
very bad condition, even worse than Lawson's snoring LOL
then i halted. "should i buy" came ringing..
"will the person appreciate?"
then i dispelled the thots. and just ask why am i caring so much for frens..
when i was sick... the only few to ask if im ok, and wish me get well...
apart from my colleagues who can see me dazed/dizzy/rednose/coughing,
they were "distant" frens. eva is one of them...

this got me thinking "wah Sebes u really cham"
everytime u try to care for a person, u get unappreciated
wrong approach, wrong method, whichever, whatever
everytime they fall down u try to help if possible
when u have ur problem, nobody's in sight.
haha. thats the world isnt it?

[Nonchalant] 's the word i suddenly thot of..
in dictionary it means
"coolly unconcerned, indifferent, or unexcited; casual"
maybe i should be learn to be like that sometimes.
jsut like Biao or Kah Seng. Oblivious to everything & unaffected

sianz talked long enough.
tata~