Cry No More

I may now know a little more, what is feel..
the lyrics alone is best expressed by the moves
(choreo is by my dance instructor Yi-Fan, and a veteran Claudia)

"i don't want to have to cry..., no more, no more.."

Say Goodbye

Chanced upon this song Mille Feuille by Maybe
one of the main theme song for an iPhone Game
Inotia 3: Children of Carnia (RPG game)
though i havent started the game, i liked this song very much
unfortunately i was unable to find this song to download, no source at all!! =(=(
but anyway i like this song quite alot, decided not to shuffle my music playlist
and decided put this at top of my list temporarily.

in what are faint makeouts of the English words sung by the Korean Singer
lyrics as per below

Lyrics
i see you my lover
i thinking of let go
can't be you're way all my life into me
you never will stay with me
i want a life for you
be still my love, don't be afraid i swear for you

and i don't need to hold on
don't let me stop you
but i could be alone, i say no, better don't, nvr go

i won't say goodbye , you don't hold me tight
but i love you , i was to you
as this won't go away
my love in your eyes,
you take me in your smile
but i'll still be alright never say goodbye

take me back get over you
i wanna leave your chemistry
to say goodbye, what to do
i will still believe in you
forever, maybe I, nvr go in my heart
then it doesn't matter, stay with me

every day and every nite, i'm thinking about you hooooo
hooo,hooo,,hoooooo
but i love you , i was to you
i just wun go away
my love in your eyes,
you take me in your smile
but i still be alright nvr say goodbye

la la la la la.. la la la la la
la la la la
la ... etc etc

Single and available means

for long period i think hard, what else can i do??
sometimes i blame myself for not putting in even more effort
sometimes i wonder why i'm called "retarded!", maybe i am not sharp enought to catch any hints?
sometimes i doubt myself "what am i lacking to make it a success chase"
but i am still sensible enough to know some things cannot be controlled
know and feel is 2 different things.

i realise i didn't sing 晴天 that day in the ktv.. though i originally planned to test out the song
maybe i'm giving myself a chance to look at the other trees once more.
speaking of trees, i think tonights gonna be a long sleepless night..

刮风这天

one wise person have said before that problems are meant to be solved
okay im that wise person. hmm but anyway it means i have plenty to solve. =/
eCr over, think i misplan liao... affecting my grad path potentially
the 4 subjects i wanna take are all available only in sem 2. jialats
means if i fail 2 subjects i may not be able to accomodate one more subject
assuming fail 2, one can selfstudy and one must re"lecture"
its also going to effing chor, SGD4700 for 4 subjects to pay in Sept
reserves running low liao -_-

This song's been on my mind recently
i've been humming to the tune:
Jay Zhou Jie Lun - Qing Tian

刮风这天, 我试过握着你手
但偏偏 雨渐渐
大到我看你不见
还要多久, 我才能在你身边

等到放晴的那天
也许我会比较好一点

从前从前, 有个人爱你很久
但偏偏 风渐渐
把距离吹得好远
好不容易, 又能再多爱一天

但故事的最后
你好像还是说了
拜拜

answer no 2

answer no 2 was a no....
how should i feel i really do not know now.

1 year to get myself ready.
i keep saying after graduation the 'real life will start for me
be it work, relationship, or anything
sometimes i wonder if it is true..
or am i just falling prey to the mundane working life as of now?
maybe already immune.

but then again, prioritization is important.
studies first for the remaining year(s)
the rest, cannot afford too much focus anyway.

work tmr as usual, yet i cant sleep
stuck with this bloody sorethroat.
roarrrrrrrr!

Spanish Eyes

another "wake up in the middle of the night" thingy.
nightmare? dun think so. but you were on my mind
exams over so whats next? i guess its freedom for the next 1 mth
then the hectic scampering about will begin again.
hopefully i can pass all, hope i did well enough
fingers crossed crossed crossed =x

"i loved you from a distance though;
i couldn't reach that far;
i can't believe how close that we are,
when i loook into your, spanish eyes
and the world is so beautiful tonight"

fingers crossed crossed

2nd paper done. fingers crossed crossed.
not looking back. done 75 marks worth of questions
as usual nvr do fast enuf but it was an improvement definitely
the feel was totally different this year.
hopefully all pass to date..

a chat with Christine help me re-affirm that effort is everything
at least it matters this way to me haha!
im gonna double my energy chionging the rest of my subjects
electronic manic supersonic bionic energy~hehe

ok time to mug. where the night falls, thats where i triumph.

Exams

It starts today. 4th day of May 2011.
Exam times, have studied a lot but not sure if its enough..
fingers crossed..

africa

Lee Kah Seng said in my facebook post:
"arbo u now migrate to south africa everyday eat porridge"

suddenly, i thought about gaga lolx. =D
eat porridge + she just said "i kick you to africa!" ytd. hahaha

Exams coming!

Exams period coming up. prayers in silence
but guess last minute prayers won't do.
need to do some speed training haha
must pass econs and stats well, at least above 50!
well its tough but can be done!!
time to spam my leave in May~~ muahahaha

Listening to: Because of You - Neyo
"and i know this much is true~ babyy, euu have become my addiction~"
first choreo dance learnt from Yi Fan's class
nice rhythm and music, and reminds me of ...

tired

i don't know how long i can continue to do this...
already my health is weakened. got by today with my last resort
2 panadol, 2 nondrowsy blu flu pill, 1 pink runny nose tablet today kept me going
feeling tired, yet i must strive on. this bridge is dangerous and shaky

almost blew up as i face triple times the frustration compared to normal days
wondered hw i was able to calm down fast enough
even though i may have considerable patience, how long more can i put up with this shyt?
negativity always encompasses one's mind when the going gets tough.
but it is in such situation where greater capacity is obtained
rest, sleep well to fight the next day!
shyt, i mean, study till sleep, and then wake up to rush for work the next day!

Challenge

went to Tampines Royal Sporting House and T1 Addidas
saw a windpants that i fancy, got Orange stripes. niceee! ^^
but unfortunately no Size S. sighhh =(
thankfully its a new stock so most stores should be selling!
okays~! i've set my sights on it, if i find this S Size i'll buy it!!

elsewhere, today was kinda a challenging day
first time Miss Kong gave me the 2-hours SLA PG to do Creation!
ok lah, at 1st it was 1 extension, simple edit & runthru within mins~
then next 1 MOM so no kick, within a few minutes i'm done~
then following up is 1 MOM + 1 custom, this still within 1 hr =D
dunno why, like now got this shyt i feel like got kick~~
once the 2hr SLA thingy come i will chiong to settle asap~~ LOL!
maybe i'm this "fan jian" of a human, need to have target setting de
then can achieve greater success

effort means everything

finally got the inspiration to write sumthing
not an easy period for me as i have just donemy 1st reservist
shag out in field exercise, now back to work
April is an emo period, cause all the night class revisions,
PLUS weekend revisions are coming!
May? the UOL exams stretched out over the month

i find myself putting in a lot of effort today, esp after the break from work
as usual i fight hard, but now im fighting harder! =)
dance lesson today was also good, i finally get the beats faster at 1st attempt
not to say, after lesson, as and when i will just rmb the steps in my mind,
picture and sometimes rehearse the steps a bit. it really helps!! ^^
result? i found myself screwing up less and smiling more! hahaha

also saw Rahmuna's fren Hui Jun, she came straight into Hip Hop 1
poor gal, it must be pretty hard to learn at such a fast pace
Hip Hop Intro was already a challenge for newcomers i would say
reminded myself of the first few lessons where i, hmm actually is ALL the guys,
just got stunned and stood there stuck whenever new steps are taught.
then almost all the gals dance pretty well, sure add to the pressure,
like i was with our group of guys, (still scared of screwing up at times)
okay shall tell her to picture the steps in her mind and rehearse next lesson!
practice makes perfect!!

thus for my emo study period, ima work hard study hard cant play hard!!
after this period, ima go find someone join me to help another NKF patient.
good idea since now the vol. program has changed from mthly to once every 2 mths
means i can at least reach out to one more patient.
and give warmth to their hearts, even if by a little bit
will force myself to go beyond capacity,
for this is where greater capacity is reached. =)

also camping out for my tiny stock movement.
I WANT TO SELL THE BLOODY COMFORT DELGRO !!!
ROARRRRRR today the price reached 1.58 but i nvr got to sell!!!!!!!!!!
DOUBLE ROARRRRRRRR. this is indeed the patience game
But i will camp, camp, camp. when i sell at 1.58
i will earn my 300 bucks =)

i must be mad, splitting my focus into so many things
work, study, investment, dance, volunteer work, family, friends, etc
actually im thinking of splitting even further!!

lolx but anw there are some things where effort alone doesnt bring you far..
no problem, you can't be faulted for doing the best you could, can't you?
smile smile smile smile smile =)=)=)
Effort means Everything

Courage

'in do-or-die situations where you can't forge ahead or fall back,
sometimes staying still brings about the best results
having faith in yourself and waiting quietly until the time comes
that too is courage'

i shall continue putting my faith and believe in it!

April & May

felt a bit lost as i stepped into March.
In-Camp Training's coming up, dunno if its good or bad
but well i supposed it will be a good break away from work..

study plan's pretty muchh messed up.
dont think i have studied enough, slept too much like a pig lolx
distractions on my mind make me tired, make me just want to fall asleep
sleep sleep sleep take out all the tiredness and wake up after long hrs

April.. it seems so near, yet so far.
passing by sundays after sundays itself is a torture to me
why am i still thinking this way lolx
maybe its cuz i havent given up hope..
yes that probably should be the case

it shouldn't be April that i should be waiting for..
it should be May..
yet irrational thoughts usually override rational thoughts dont they?
im such a retarded LOL

blues

Work has piled up.
Money paid to RELC for exams fees
its all bluueeeee
drowning~~~~~
only thing i look forward to everyday, is lunchtime...

its the only time i can get much of any smiles i make
SIANZzz...
want to scream, want to rant, , want to shout it out loud!!

Now that my buddy is nw serving his last few days at work
its gonna be even more load for me !@
new applications + extensions + retirement/LTB + ABO stuffs + other misc
keep bleeding keep keep bleeding..
STRESS!! and those stupid calls incoming/outgoing
fking troublesome.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
and not to mention i got bad flu/runny nose recently
felt like a retard and slow in doing things. mistakes alot alot >.< ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

okay this sounds more like a normal blog. got complaints!! haha
i give it a try, see tmr how, full spd ahead!
nvr give up, look on the bright side, clr the files asap!

On a side note: these past 2 days i was so close to taking MC..
fugging shagged out, to the point of shivering with the aircon/rainydays
fugging bo hoh seh, knock into things and almost fell twice.
but im glad i didn't. Zhenqi on leave on Mon = 1 man down
today Noh also last min urgent leave Tues today= 1 man down.
heng i never take!

Save save save!

New year has arrived!
and just about these periods people will ask about New Year Resolutions.
but think most of them ask without knowing their own LOLx

New Year Resolution?
very simple, save more.
i learn one very very important lesson last month/year
if theres a song "you raise me up" there's also another song "bring me to life"

hahaha.. pay exams fees liao must scrimp and save more. imma poor man =(
anyway no time to complain, my buddy Zhenqi is gonna eat grass soon, comparatively
wish him luck in his full time student part time studies (or full time slacker??)